Billy Joel’s Darkest Days Revealed in HBO Documentary ‘And So It Goes’
Legendary musician Billy Joel is known for his chart-topping hits and iconic piano ballads, but his journey to fame was paved with intense emotional turmoil, personal heartbreak, and two suicide attempts. The HBO documentary Billy Joel: And So It Goes—which premiered on opening night of the Tribeca Film Festival—unveils the raw and hidden chapters of Joel’s early life, long before stardom took hold.
A Forbidden Love That Shattered a Friendship
In his 20s, Joel played in a rock duo called Attila alongside his best friend Jon Small. They lived together and shared not just a band but a close bond—until Billy fell in love with Elizabeth, Jon’s wife.
Elizabeth, who also appears in the documentary, admitted the love didn’t happen instantly but slowly grew over time. At the time, she and Small had a child together. Eventually, Billy came clean to his friend, saying bluntly:
“I’m in love with your wife.”
The revelation destroyed their friendship and band. Joel described feeling overwhelming guilt and shame:
“They had a child. I felt like a homewrecker… I got punched in the nose, which I deserved.”
Homeless, Hopeless, and Hiding in Laundromats
After the fallout, Joel was kicked out and found himself living with nowhere to go. He slept in laundromats, feeling lost and hopeless.
“Tomorrow is going to be just like today, and today sucks. So, I just thought I’d end it all.”
First Suicide Attempt: Overdose and Coma
Struggling with insomnia and depression, Joel tried to end his life by overdosing on sleeping pills sent by his sister, Judy Molinari, a medical assistant. The attempt left him in a coma for several days.
Judy recalled the trauma:
“He was white as a sheet. I thought I’d killed him.”
Joel later admitted that surviving made him realize how selfish his act was—but he wasn’t done trying.
Second Attempt and an Unexpected Savior
His second suicide attempt involved drinking lemon-scented furniture polish (Pledge)—a moment that might seem darkly absurd but was rooted in deep emotional pain.
In a twist of fate, it was Jon Small—the same friend he had betrayed—who rushed him to the hospital. Small later said:
“The only reason Billy might have taken it so hard was because he loved me that much.”
Eventually, Jon forgave him.
Channeling Pain Into Music: The Birth of ‘Cold Spring Harbor’
After recovery, Joel turned his emotional trauma into creative fuel. The result was his first solo album, Cold Spring Harbor.
His love story with Elizabeth didn’t end after the affair—they married in 1973 and stayed together until 1982. Elizabeth also became his manager, famously pushing for “Just the Way You Are” to be released when record execs didn’t believe in it.
The Rise of a Star: From LA Bars to The Stranger
The documentary also highlights how Joel played in Los Angeles bars under the fake name “Bill Martin” due to a bad record deal. One of those bars, The Executive Room, inspired his classic hit “Piano Man.”
Elizabeth even inspired the lyric “practising politics” as the waitress in the song.
Joel also once turned down a deal with Beatles producer George Martin—because Martin didn’t want his band. Instead, Joel collaborated with Phil Ramone and released The Stranger, one of his most successful albums ever.
A Rare Diagnosis and Current Health Struggles
Although Joel didn’t attend the documentary premiere due to being recently diagnosed with normal pressure hydrocephalus, a rare brain disorder, his story is reaching fans in powerful new ways through this deeply personal film.
A Story of Redemption, Music, and Survival
Billy Joel: And So It Goes offers fans a profound look at the trials, betrayals, and tragedies that shaped the Piano Man. It’s a reminder that behind the fame lies a man who once thought he had nothing left—until he turned pain into timeless music.
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